I'm 26 and I've been this way for most of my adult life. I've had very limited sex experience with women, largely due to being socially awkward, and as a result of one thing or another, frequently rejected. It's not "oh hey, I got rejected. I'll meet someone else in a month or two." I've gone years without relationships or even dates or hookups. I've only had one actual girlfriend who I dated for four months. We had sex on occasion, but one of the reasons we stopped was because of my fear of getting her accidentally pregnant.
In no uncertain terms do I feel this fear is largely because of my dad's paranoia. He's paranoid, yes, but also thinks very far ahead - sometimes too far ahead, and enough to make the danger outweigh the privilege. Even though I'm an adult, he's never liked it when I took risks, and as a result, that's weighed in on my psyche. I can't be like normal people who have the occasional hookup because I'm just too scared.
I am in absolutely no condition, mentally or financially, capable of raising a child, nor do I intend to anytime soon. I will legally fight it tooth and nail and waive my paternity rights if I can. Having a baby does not interest me. Some people have good relationships and the girl gets pregnant, but the father stays because he loves them. Once again, I've only had one real relationship. I couldn't fathom the fear of getting someone I hooked up with pregnant and them keeping the baby at my expense.
There's always foreplay. True. But even if I use protection, if you look up wikihow, everything from "pre-cum" to not having lubrication can cause the condom to rip and get the woman pregnant. I have serious fear in sex, something I otherwise almost always fantasize about. It's a wonderful feeling, but one that triggers my OCD and makes me paranoid that I somehow maybe accidentally got her pregnant and I won't know for the next few weeks to a month.
The next time I meet a girl, whether she wants me as a boyfriend or for the night, I don't want to get cold feet and run away because what I wanted was stopped because I was too scared to go through with it. Those of you with active sex lives, how do you cope with not getting someone (or yourself) pregnant? What should I do?